Category: mindfulness

Strike a Match

by Jody, posted in how to begin, mindfulness, SLEEP

Each night as we gather together for dinner there are always lit candles on the table. If there doesn’t happen to be a table, there are still candles lit somewhere nearby.

Nearly always we spend time to ‘set’ the table. It’s a thing in our family. When I was growing up, this was mostly reserved for Sunday dinner. However, while living overseas with our own young family it was like this every evening. Partly as the kitchen was all tiled (yes ALL the walls as well the floors) and so we chose to eat in the dining room. Our table was also one that needed placemats so as not to damage it, so every night there would be placemats, candles, napkins, the works. Everything placed… just so.

I have always appreciated ritual. It seems to bring something a little special to the table, so to speak.

What’s the difference between a habit or a ritual? And are they always helpful?

The word ritual comes from Latin ritualis, from ritus (see rite). Rite, often used in rite of passage, or “social custom, practice, or conventional act”. Both, often used in religious terms. I think of them more in terms of transitioning. How might we move from one thing to another, with some sense of it all.

Times of transition are when we often get stuck. Have difficulty. How do we move from one thing to another? It might be a life transition. Perhaps it’s transitioning from our work day to home life (blurred lines at the moment). Seems we are in a time of huge transitions. Or maybe it’s from wakefulness to sleep. Or from sleep to wakefulness. Acknowledging there IS a transition taking place can be helpful.

I like to have a cup of coffee first thing in the morning. This habit makes it tricky for other things to occur afterwards. The coffee leads to breakfast and suddenly I don’t feel like doing yoga asana or movement. My early morning window of opportunity is gone. I’ve worked to change this at times, but it’s ever so easy to slip back into familiar patterns. This habit, not all that supportive.

What if we turned habits into rituals? Rather than these automatic patterns we have accumulated over the years that served us well (or not) we create specific rituals to support transitions with a little more ease.

Waking up and then what? Is there available space or time for … maybe something other than coffee? What can you do that sets you up for your day? A nourishing breakfast. Solitude. Prayer or meditation. Fresh air or exercise. Or it is straight in to the demands of the day?

From work day to evening. Time alone, or with your partner, or family. Maybe allowance for what each person needs to transition from one to the other.

For me, one ritual is to set the table. Place the candles. Strike the match. … the ritual, the transition. This making way from one setting to another. We set aside what came before and meet together in this new space.

Rather than your usual habits what might be some rituals that support your transition from evening to sleep?

Curious to explore this further? Click the link below where we’ll explore this transitioning during the day and into our sleep. We begin tomorrow!

more info here

As I write this, feeling deep gratitude for my teacher Anne. Who reignited the significance, relevance of this ritual for me personally. Not just lighting the candles, but striking a match and doing so with purposeful intention.

What rituals are most meaningful in your life? How did you learn them? Why do you choose to carry them forward? I’d love to hear from you.

Showing Up

by Jody, posted in aging, how to begin, mindfulness, yoga

I’ve been rather absent for the past three weeks, at least in this space. COVID-19 showed up for a close family member so it has been all-hands-on deck for a few weeks now.

Yet, here we are. A new year, another moment in these particular days that we may not be liking so much.

What I don’t like so much now and maybe in the past as well, is there seems to be this one way to be. A particular way to show up in the world, in any given moment. Whether in times of crisis or just the regular days of work, being part of a family, in relationships, or on my yoga mat.

“This, … is the way it’s to be done. This, … is the way to show up.”

Fortunately, or unfortunately for me, I was never much good with the status quo. At times I can tune in to this quickly. On other occasions it takes a long while before I get the sense that what might be well and good for one, doesn’t feel quite right for me. I’m hoping that as I head into my 60th year on this planet the gap between the two is shortening.

There is always a message, a signal trying to capture my attention and act as a guide. The harder part is listening. Even harder is acting on it.

Why is that?

Well, there does seem to be a cultural or societal expectation to go along with the crowd. We look for cues outside ourself. What is the other person doing, saying? How are they responding? From a young age we’re often taught to fit in. Be nice. Say yes. Maybe don’t say anything at all. Grin and bear it. Smile through the pain or discomfort. Do what others do. Again, “this… is the way to show up”.

Yet times are changing. A slow but forward motion allowing for difference. Celebrating it, even. This might be in terms of looks or gender but also a general movement to change other beliefs. That it might be okay to express who we are. What we feel. What we believe. How we see the world, that what we feel in our own uniqueness, matters.

As I think about another year’s passing what is becoming clearer to me is, there is only … right now. Now is the time to show up.

Which doesn’t therefore mean, my way, is the way. It doesn’t mean anyone or anything else is wrong. It’s only that what will be right and well for one, is not the same for another. Funny enough last year I created an online program exploring just that. It’s interesting to notice that often what I teach, is what I most needed to learn for myself.

Here’s what I’m learning these days.

It can be useful to have a place where I can simply show up with whatever I feel, wherever I’m at. Happy smiley faces not required. That in this New Year I don’t have to be better, more enlightened, 10lbs lighter, happy, smiling, fit or always be in a good mood. Trying to sustain all that these days might be quite a challenge.

That I have permission to do, be, what feels most right.

Maybe the same is true for you.

Habits of ours. Helpful or not?

by Jody, posted in mindfulness, tools - rest

What else might you do to prepare for sleep?

You might want to get a little curious about current habits. Perhaps life-long ones.

For example, I have never showered or bathed at night as I prefer it in the morning to get set for the day. It also helps me to wake up. But I am finding lately that a warm shower at night, the warmth feels awfully good. Perhaps it feels, or symbolizes in some way, that I’m washing away the day and stepping into sleep renewed. Refreshed.

Sipping on a warm beverage might be appealing. A herbal tea, water, lemon & honey, warm milk on its own or with turmeric. These might feel soothing and satisfying for you in some way. A ritual that becomes a way to mark the end of day, the coming into rest and restoration.

Maybe a foot massage might feel good. I have no formal training in massage, yet I’ve been doing this for a while now. It only takes a couple of minutes, but there is something about the massaging of the feet that makes me go “ahhhhhhhh……..”. I have to say in our travels that anywhere and everywhere we see foot massage on offer, people are lined up and waiting!

You can incorporate using oil with the massage, maybe even warming the oil beforehand. I tend to use almond oil, but you might like coconut or another of your choice.  I don’t choose to warm the oil, but rather just pour a little on my hands and then massage my feet in any old way, for about 3-5 minutes on each foot. (You’ll want to put some loose socks on afterwards, so as not to get oil on your bedsheets.) Then just notice… Try doing this 3 times a week and see what it feels like for you. I have noticed that while others may hold tension in their jaw, their shoulders, back or hips the tension I feel, what keeps me awake at night, is the inability to relax my feet.

Other soft, turning-inwards things you might try?

Sit by candlelight. Our natural circadian rhythms are disrupted by all the artificial light surrounding and available to us. Then there are all these screens. Do you know there are night settings you can change on your phone or laptop so you’re not having to stare at such a bright screen?

You might read, color, knit, or some other quiet, introspective activity. We tend to spend a LOT of time on screens these days, so anything other than, might be a place to explore.

Tomorrow we’ll lean into some practices you can do when nothing else works. When you are frustrated, can’t get to sleep, can’t get back to sleep. It’s all about distraction. How might we get our brain to turn off, or at least shift the focus of attention to something else.

Balancing Act

by Jody, posted in mindfulness, tools - rest

In preparation for sleep at the end of your day, it might be another time to check in with how you’re feeling.

You might feel fully exhausted, in which case you may have an easier time falling asleep. Yet, even if you’re physically exhausted there is also a possibility of being in a mobilized, or upregulated state in your nervous system.

  • You may have been going full speed ahead with what feels like a million things required of you on any given day. Trying to balance what seems like never-ending demands.
  • Maybe you’ve just had an emotional or stress-filled conversation with someone.
  • You might be feeling some of the long-term stress from these strange times of Covid-19.
  • Maybe you ate a big meal late in the evening as you didn’t had time to do so, earlier.

Your body, your physiology, automatically changes and/or responds to what is going on, what is required in a given moment of time. First of all it takes some awareness to even notice what the state of being, or the state of your nervous system, is. If you’re in fight, flight or freeze (a more sympathetic nervous system response) sleep might not come so easily. However, if you can learn to shift into a more parasympathetic type response (the rest and digest response) it might make the transition to sleep more easeful.

The first step is in the noticing.

Perhaps you can do a body scan to notice what you feel. Bringing your awareness slowly to each part of your body, noticing any sensation you feel or any thoughts or feelings that arise as you do this. Or you may come to know through noticing the quality of your breath. Or perhaps noticing your thoughts and emotions.

People often have difficult going to sleep. More so these days, I find. You might want to look at it, approach it, in a way that requires some preparation. We need both types of nervous systems responses. We have stresses in our life, we need to mobilize. Yet, how might we find some balance and what practices might be helpful in the evening to downregulate our system. To allow for rest and build capacity to meet the challenges of our days. What might make the transition, more easeful? We’ll dig into a few this week.

What goes unnoticed?

by Jody, posted in mindfulness, pain

It surely does not look like this out my window today. I have yet to venture out into the snow that landed over night but I will at some point. You see, I find great pleasure in being outside in the fresh, crisp air but also as nature helps me with the practice of noticing the subtle, or smallest things.

Which can be really helpful if you’re someone who lives with pain.

If we understand pain to be a protective system, it makes total sense that pain wants your attention. The most important thing for your brain to focus on ALL DAY LONG long is keeping you safe and alive. Top priority. Your brain is constantly monitoring all the systems in the body, slowing things down, speeding things up, secreting hormones and enzymes, adjusting the nervous system to respond to what is required in any given moment. Telling you when to sleep, to drink, to eat, to move. Providing messages, clues.

Throughout the day you may notice when you are in pain. For some people this may be, or feel like, it’s all day long. 24/7. But I suspect for many there are times when you don’t feel pain. Moments, minutes or days perhaps.

I wonder if you might notice when you don’t experience pain.

I invite you to notice those moments. And get curious. Why, perhaps, are you not experiencing pain just now? This practice of noticing, provides clues.

What makes your day, your life, feel more easeful? Safe, perhaps. Comfortable, pleasurable. Less painful.

Spend some time, noticing that. I’d love to hear how it goes.

If this is something you’re interested in exploring, I offer private 1:1 sessions via Zoom. Click here, for more information or arrange for a free 15-min conversation.

#daytimepractice #daytime #noticing #painsystem #chronicpain #easeful #comfort #pleasure

It is, a practice

by Jody, posted in mindfulness, yoga

These dinner rolls I made to accompany a warming pot of stew on Friday night, were not too bad. Though it wasn’t my first time making them. I recall the first attempt, some 25 years ago. Not. So. Good.

I had to practice a little. Take some time to get a feel for the dough, figure out how to make rolls, the many pieces of the task at hand.

While working with someone 1:1 in a private session, we usually meet every week or two. The reason being is after an assessment, clarifying of goals or focus, whatever we decide to use in terms of practice… is meant to be, well, practiced. For a while. Noticing any effects.

If you’ve been following along with the morning practices over the last week or so, I’m going to pause and allow space for that. You might go back through the various options. There may be some you are already exploring, using. They are not meant to be ‘the thing’ but rather to be used as an exploration. An inquiry as to what you notice, what feels useful. What does not. If you want to go back and review, the posts are noted below:

  • Nov 3 – Here I am, again
  • Nov 4 – Softening
  • Nov 5 – To breathe
  • Nov 6 – Pause, notice
  • Nov 9 – Ease, into morning
  • Nov 10 – Sense making
  • Nov 11 – Warming up

You might benefit from some included here or what feels right for you might be something altogether different. These are a few suggestions.

We’ll pick this up again on Nov 23rd looking at various practices you might choose to do during the day. Then again, we’ll pause for a week before moving on to evening practices starting on Dec 7th.  I hope you’ll stay tuned. Let me know If you have any noticings, feedback or questions along the way.

If this is something you’d like to explore with me privately, I currently offer 1:1 sessions via Zoom. Information can be found here.

Warming up

by Jody, posted in how to begin, mindfulness, tools - stillness, yoga

Warm thoughts

As you lay in bed, you might imagine your first cup of coffee or tea. You might prefer warm water with lemon, fresh ginger, a touch of honey. Perhaps a spicy chai. The ritual of running water, filling the kettle, getting out your favorite cup, warming it first with some hot water. Waiting for it to brew. The smell. The first taste. How it warms your hands, your body as it makes its way, particularly on these cold days.

When you go to actually make it in a few minutes, maybe notice more fully and appreciate this very simple way to begin your day. What pleasure it brings. What you notice in your body. Perhaps a feeling of warmth, or of a softening somewhere.

Maybe before climbing out of bed you imagine something else. Taking a few moments to think about a loved one, warms you. Maybe you imagine sitting by the fire with friends. Perhaps you place hand on heart and offer yourself a few minutes of love, compassion… and that warms you.

Warm waters

What about including warmth in the morning in the way of a hot bath, or shower. Really sensing how it feels. The wakening spray of water landing upon you or warm waters, surrounding you. Maybe you notice the sounds. See the steam rising. Feel the water’s cleansing, soft, fluid properties. This warm and tender waking of your body and your senses.

Warm foods

Perhaps, warm foods. Many people these days are into green smoothies and such. I enjoy a light breakfast of crisp greens, bright ripe tomatoes and a boiled egg in the summer. But as we move into the cooler months it might be useful to bring some warmth to food. Just being cooked makes food easier to digest on these slow, sluggish days. Maybe hot oatmeal, toast, biscuits, whatever you prefer. Waffles with the sweetness of local maple syrup, or baked fruit like plums or apples, spiced up as you like.

Fiery, perhaps

Or perhaps your thoughts on any particular morning lean towards the injustices of the world around you and you feel this fiery, hot, anger welling up inside. And that’s what warms you up, gets you moving forward in your day. Who knows?

I get that it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, hot tea, warm baths, clean water that we are privileged to enjoy.

Yet, finding these small moments of warmth, calm, building some resilience to greet the day and whatever that means for you, might be useful.

Or maybe it’s just in the noticing what fuels you, that counts.

Sense Making

by Jody, posted in mindfulness, movement, tools - breath, tools - movement, tools - stillness
ballpen blank desk journal
Photo by Jessica Lewis on Pexels.com

How do you make sense of your days? Of what’s happening in and around you.

You might be someone who writes in a journal.

Either early morning, or late at night. I’ve recently heard of a thing called Morning Pages which I understand are meant to clear your mind, “provoke, clarify, comfort, cajole, prioritize and synchronize the day at hand.”  Or perhaps, as the creator says, they “could be called mourning pages as they are really a farewell to life as you knew it and an introduction to life as it’s going to be.”

I’m not a journal writer but I do write a lot of notes. I learn best when reading and writing on paper. I (attempt to) figure things out that way. Most often it’s not in the morning when I write. Sometimes, it is in the middle of the night (more on that later). Regardless, it does seem helpful to empty out or (try to) make sense of what is occupying the mind.

Might a sitting or meditation practice, be useful?

I sit for a few minutes each morning, and well, whatever happens, happens. Most often, for about 5 to 10 minutes. I notice my breath, find a place to focus and just sit with that for a bit. I feel into my body. Notice how I might find support in gravity. Allow myself to be comfortable. Some days that may appear to be very still. Other days I shift quite a bit. I subtly move my spine, my legs, whatever.

This short little practice seems to make some sense for me at the moment. Helps me find some ground, stability and space to navigate through the uncertainty of these days.

You may appreciate the practice of prayer.

It might be the way you prefer to begin (and/or end) the day.

Practices and rituals allow us time and space to consider, wonder, be curious. Make sense of things, or perhaps support us in a world that doesn’t always make sense.

When much seems beyond our control it might be helpful to consider, make sense of what we value most. What matters most?

I think this can be useful practice. What’s most important. The world around us will surely change and challenge us constantly, but maybe focusing on the simple things we might value like care, communication, community, and connecting with others might make the most sense, for now. Maybe for you it is being outside. Truth-finding. Helping others. Maybe it’s just this getting up each day… and putting one foot in front of the other no matter what.

What is it, really, that matters to you most? How do you know that?

#morningpractie #mornings #journaling #selfstudy #meditation #prayer #practices #values

Softening

by Jody, posted in mindfulness, movement, proprioception, yoga

While still in bed you might consider one place to soften in your body.

Notice where you feel some tension or tightness. Stiffness or rigidity. Perhaps you can begin to soften your jaw a little, your eyes, or maybe soften your breath.

It might be useful to imagine or bring to mind a memory you have of a safe, warm, lovely place. I imagine my toes in soft sand, and that they are as soft and supple as when I was a wee toddler.

I turn over and feel the softness of the duvet cover, my pillow.

Maybe I imagine something soft like the these strange little plants (pictured above) that I seem to be obsessed with. Of them blowing softly in the breeze.

Maybe I imagine the soft snow, landing on my face, as I go out for a walk.

Life is hard enough. Might we move towards, bring in, feel in some way, a touch of softness to it.

Even by just imagining it to be so.

#morningpractice #mornings #softening #notice #nourish #touch #stiffness #rigidity #breath #breeze #imagine #yogatherapy #yogatoolsforlife #JRFU #JustRightForYou #startsmall #goslow

Here I am, again

by Jody, posted in how to begin, mindfulness, tools - stillness, yoga

As you wake in the morning, before anything else, can you notice your first thoughts? Before you look at your phone, even open your eyes. Notice what it is, you’re thinking about.

And consider that. How do these initial thoughts begin or influence your day?

Maybe you can catch a glimpse, almost before you’re even fully conscious. Or maybe you won’t notice anything at all and that’s okay too. But you might want to practice this a little.

For some, with a little practice and curiosity you might find a creative spark or some new insight within these early morning thoughts.

Perhaps, to start, you might just notice that… here you are.

“Here I am, again.”

It is morning. I am awake. This is a new day.

Allow yourself a few moments. Some time and space to just be… with whatever, before the rush of the day draws you forward and up.

That might be enough.

You’ve received another day in the world. And that might be something to notice.

#morningpractice #mornings #notice #awake #alive #noticing #thoughts #gratitude #creativity #creativetime #dreamstate #yogatherapy #yogatoolsforlife