It all seems so complicated

Does anyone else get the feeling that everything seems so complicated, yet the same, all at once?

I’ve been thinking of the simplicity of days past. Times when everything seemed rather natural, easeful. Unplanned. Unrestrained.

When I was a kid, it wasn’t a chore to go outside for fresh air. To play. It’s where I wanted to be. So much freedom. Escaping from watchful eyes, I could walk and explore. Look to find someone to come along with me, or meander on my own.

I would walk and jump. Skip down the sidewalks. Come upon the monkey bars in the playground, stopping to hang out for a bit.

I might hum a few tunes along the way or daydream about what I might do tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I would find some friends hanging about. Perhaps we were lucky enough to have 10 cents to spend after finishing our paper routes. Anticipating all it might buy. Licorice strings that I could practice braiding together. The green ones being my favorite. Powered sugar in long straws. Those crackle-pop things that would burst all at once in your mouth.

I loved to dip my hands in the mud after a heavy rain… looking for unknown treasure. Or place small twigs and leaves alongside the gutter and watch how long they would travel down the street before some kind of obstruction from mud or rock stopped the adventure. Pick flowers. Build tree forts in the yet-to-be-developed suburbs. Throw snowballs. Play road hockey. Always trying to beat my older brothers at their own game, from which I was excluded.

I would play by the light of the day. Navigate the way home by twilight for dinner or bedtime depending on the season. The sun dipping low as my cue for either. That, or someone calling “supper time” in the neighborhood out their front door. It might be my mom, or maybe it was yours. It didn’t much matter as it was still a signal that our time was up.

Today, the day is clocked, watched. Tuned by the rhythm of the pings, alarms, flashes of light so we don’t miss a thing.

These days I’m now wandering rather aimlessly around the neighborhoods, gasping for a little fresh air. Looking for a friendly face to say hello to behind my mask. Some boldly saying hello. Others holding their breath, covering their face as they make room to unobtrusively pass by. This being masked, eyes down, gaze lowered. A story for another time.

The simplest of movements now are so guarded, watched. Complicated. I believe things are changing, opening up again where I live two days from now. Unless of course, they don’t. Stay tuned.

I don’t anticipate normal any time soon.

In the meanwhile I hope some of the young kids I see about the neighborhood these days are dreaming of ways to use this technology at our fingertips to some helpful advantage. At the same time figuring out how we might again disconnect to reconnect. Look up and out. Stir our imaginations towards a more wise, self-sustaining yet uncomplicated future for the ones we love.

Just, Calm Down

It was probably my first year as a yoga teacher, 10 years ago now, when I had a student in my class I so clearly recall would get up and leave as soon as it was time for Savasana. I’ve been trying to remember what I offered her in terms of advice but it escapes me now. Likely, I didn’t have much to offer. Yet I did empathize and understand why she left, unable to stay in this ‘corpse pose’ as it’s often called.

Ask the same of people when they are told to “just” sit still and meditate. Particularly if they’re experiencing anxiety, or high levels of stress and notice what happens.

Or telling a young child having a full-blown meltdown to “just” calm down.

The last thing anyone can do in these moments is calm down. There are likely to be many reasons for the state in which people find themselves and can’t calm themselves, but the ‘state’ is the important piece.

If someone is in a state of arousal, a natural nervous system response, telling them to do the opposite may not be helpful. It might add to the stress or leave them feeling ashamed about not being able to control their emotions or behavior. All this movement, powerful breathwork (sobbing), yelling, screaming, stomping of feet, tossing and turning the body in an attempt to express feelings and emotions going on inside (insert here: toddler meltdown).

There are some ways, practices or movements that enable calming down or a relaxation response. But it might be something just the opposite that’s needed to even begin this shift. Maybe what was needed, in this particular situation, is a mobilized response. We need both… to survive and engage in the wide variety of experience life is going to throw our way.

Recognizing the state is the first piece. Having some tools and options to choose from that might be helpful to you in the moment, could be a good thing to practice.

Today, I would have a few suggestions should this person turn up in my yoga class and find it a struggle being in corpse pose.

I’m kicking off a workshop in February all about SLEEP. Deep rest. How one might get to a place of settling in… for the night. Or for Savasana. Or if you’re having a hard time with routine, uncertainty, stress in these days you might find it helpful as well. I’d love for you to join in so stay tuned here, or you can sign up at yogatoolsforlife.com.

Turning off, turning in

If you’re feeling stressed or wound up at the end of your day it might be helpful to notice, perhaps try to shift it, BEFORE trying to head off to sleep.

Let me preface this by saying you may not be ready for slow, restful or focusing-in practices. It may be that you feel the need to move in ways that burn off energy. Maybe rocking or swaying from side-to-side, bouncing a little, shaking things out. Perhaps some dancing in the dark… might be what’s needed in the moment.

However, if you’d like to try some ways to calm the nervous system you might practice one of these restful poses. Or maybe do them after the movement mentioned above. Something like legs up the wall, providing support and perhaps release for the back muscles, or tension elsewhere in the body. Or maybe the beginnings of turning inward, so a forward fold on a chair, or over a bolster.

This doesn’t have to take a long time. You may want to stay in one of these poses for 5 to 10 minutes. See what happens.

Notice the length and the quality of your breath. Notice if it shifts at all, while in the pose.

Notice your thoughts. Feelings.

Maybe it’s helpful for you to listen to calming music, be in a place with lowered, soft lighting.

Taking a few minutes may help to make the transition into sleep a little more easeful. Try it. I’d love to know if anything changes at all for you.

Transitions

I can recall when our son came home to visit after living on his own in Europe for a couple of years and he had acquired a new habit. That being changing from his work clothes to his inside clothes. They were kind of like pajamas, only a bit dressier. It seemed strange at first. I’d not seen him walking around the house dressed like that since, well, a very long time ago. I guess I can relate a little thinking back many years ago and coming  home, changing out of my ‘corporate suit’ and into something more comfortable. At least I think I did. Did I, or did I move straight into doing stuff with the kids, tidying up, cooking dinner? This leaving of one job or role and straight into another?

When practicing yoga it is often the transitions where problems occur in terms of difficulty or even injury. I wonder if it’s because we’re already thinking about the next ‘pose’ rather than giving much thought to how we might get there.

I think it’s where we often face our greatest challenges. Transitions. How do we ‘go across’ from one thing to another.

Child to teenager. To cohabitating with a partner, moving into parenthood perhaps. Then it often feels like 20 years zip by and we’re confronted with children leaving, the possibility of retirement. Other big transitions in the mix like illness, career changes, loss of loved ones, jobs, homes, maybe moving.

But back to even just the simplest of these. How might you transition from your work day and whatever that is for you… into the evening? Does your 5 o’clock look like a big energy crash? A wild and untamed household? Too many demands on your time, yet again?

How might you make it supportive in some way? Less overwhelming?

If you’ve spent your day where conversation is required non-stop, maybe you recognize your need for quiet. If you’ve been working alone where there is no conversation, you may be in need of connection. How might you meet those needs? And if you’ve others to consider during these transitions – how might you somehow meet in the middle?

I surely don’t have all the answers.

It might be worthwhile to consider though.

Creating some kind of ritual might be helpful. We have rituals around big life changes, or at least we used to. Weddings, funerals, rites of passage.

What might you do? Perhaps it is about changing your clothes. Or slowing down, having a cup of tea, or some kind of (prepared in advance) snack so you’re not reaching for the cookies or chips, or whatever’s nearest to your fingertips.

How do you move from one thing to the next? This going across? How do you know one thing is ending and a new one is beginning? It makes sense to first bring some awareness that it’s even happening. From there, perhaps making choices that might support it in some way. So, it’s more easeful. Less frantic.

What ideas do you have, do you use? I’d be interested in your strategies.

Warming up

Warm thoughts

As you lay in bed, you might imagine your first cup of coffee or tea. You might prefer warm water with lemon, fresh ginger, a touch of honey. Perhaps a spicy chai. The ritual of running water, filling the kettle, getting out your favorite cup, warming it first with some hot water. Waiting for it to brew. The smell. The first taste. How it warms your hands, your body as it makes its way, particularly on these cold days.

When you go to actually make it in a few minutes, maybe notice more fully and appreciate this very simple way to begin your day. What pleasure it brings. What you notice in your body. Perhaps a feeling of warmth, or of a softening somewhere.

Maybe before climbing out of bed you imagine something else. Taking a few moments to think about a loved one, warms you. Maybe you imagine sitting by the fire with friends. Perhaps you place hand on heart and offer yourself a few minutes of love, compassion… and that warms you.

Warm waters

What about including warmth in the morning in the way of a hot bath, or shower. Really sensing how it feels. The wakening spray of water landing upon you or warm waters, surrounding you. Maybe you notice the sounds. See the steam rising. Feel the water’s cleansing, soft, fluid properties. This warm and tender waking of your body and your senses.

Warm foods

Perhaps, warm foods. Many people these days are into green smoothies and such. I enjoy a light breakfast of crisp greens, bright ripe tomatoes and a boiled egg in the summer. But as we move into the cooler months it might be useful to bring some warmth to food. Just being cooked makes food easier to digest on these slow, sluggish days. Maybe hot oatmeal, toast, biscuits, whatever you prefer. Waffles with the sweetness of local maple syrup, or baked fruit like plums or apples, spiced up as you like.

Fiery, perhaps

Or perhaps your thoughts on any particular morning lean towards the injustices of the world around you and you feel this fiery, hot, anger welling up inside. And that’s what warms you up, gets you moving forward in your day. Who knows?

I get that it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, hot tea, warm baths, clean water that we are privileged to enjoy.

Yet, finding these small moments of warmth, calm, building some resilience to greet the day and whatever that means for you, might be useful.

Or maybe it’s just in the noticing what fuels you, that counts.

Sense Making

ballpen blank desk journal
Photo by Jessica Lewis on Pexels.com

How do you make sense of your days? Of what’s happening in and around you.

You might be someone who writes in a journal.

Either early morning, or late at night. I’ve recently heard of a thing called Morning Pages which I understand are meant to clear your mind, “provoke, clarify, comfort, cajole, prioritize and synchronize the day at hand.”  Or perhaps, as the creator says, they “could be called mourning pages as they are really a farewell to life as you knew it and an introduction to life as it’s going to be.”

I’m not a journal writer but I do write a lot of notes. I learn best when reading and writing on paper. I (attempt to) figure things out that way. Most often it’s not in the morning when I write. Sometimes, it is in the middle of the night (more on that later). Regardless, it does seem helpful to empty out or (try to) make sense of what is occupying the mind.

Might a sitting or meditation practice, be useful?

I sit for a few minutes each morning, and well, whatever happens, happens. Most often, for about 5 to 10 minutes. I notice my breath, find a place to focus and just sit with that for a bit. I feel into my body. Notice how I might find support in gravity. Allow myself to be comfortable. Some days that may appear to be very still. Other days I shift quite a bit. I subtly move my spine, my legs, whatever.

This short little practice seems to make some sense for me at the moment. Helps me find some ground, stability and space to navigate through the uncertainty of these days.

You may appreciate the practice of prayer.

It might be the way you prefer to begin (and/or end) the day.

Practices and rituals allow us time and space to consider, wonder, be curious. Make sense of things, or perhaps support us in a world that doesn’t always make sense.

When much seems beyond our control it might be helpful to consider, make sense of what we value most. What matters most?

I think this can be useful practice. What’s most important. The world around us will surely change and challenge us constantly, but maybe focusing on the simple things we might value like care, communication, community, and connecting with others might make the most sense, for now. Maybe for you it is being outside. Truth-finding. Helping others. Maybe it’s just this getting up each day… and putting one foot in front of the other no matter what.

What is it, really, that matters to you most? How do you know that?

#morningpractie #mornings #journaling #selfstudy #meditation #prayer #practices #values

Pause, notice

Next week we’ll move on to practices you might consider during your day but today is another morning practice, a check-in. Something to consider, explore.

Before getting out of bed,… pause

What do you notice in your body? What do you feel? How do you feel?

Based on that, what might be your intention going forward for the day?

Do you feel tired? Perhaps that means a day of more rest. Doing just a little. Taking it easy and giving yourself a break from all you had planned. Maybe, do less.

Do you feel pretty good? Well rested? Maybe this will be a day you have more energy, less pain. What might that mean for you today?

Maybe you decide to sit and meditate for a few minutes. Prayer, may be a practice that is helpful to you. Reading a poem, might make sense to you. It might be through meditation, prayer or reading you gain some insight into how you feel.

You might still be unsure.

Feelings can be difficult to figure out. What tells you, you’re feeling depleted? Or rested? Or anxious, stressed out? Energized?

What do you feel in your body and where do you feel it? For many reasons we tend to spend a lot of time in our head, mind, with our thoughts. Listening to the signals and sensations of your body, might provide some other clues. For instance, how do you know you’re thirsty? Hungry? Tired? In love?

Tomorrow we’ll add in some movement which is another way in, to this noticing.

Here I am, again

As you wake in the morning, before anything else, can you notice your first thoughts? Before you look at your phone, even open your eyes. Notice what it is, you’re thinking about.

And consider that. How do these initial thoughts begin or influence your day?

Maybe you can catch a glimpse, almost before you’re even fully conscious. Or maybe you won’t notice anything at all and that’s okay too. But you might want to practice this a little.

For some, with a little practice and curiosity you might find a creative spark or some new insight within these early morning thoughts.

Perhaps, to start, you might just notice that… here you are.

“Here I am, again.”

It is morning. I am awake. This is a new day.

Allow yourself a few moments. Some time and space to just be… with whatever, before the rush of the day draws you forward and up.

That might be enough.

You’ve received another day in the world. And that might be something to notice.

#morningpractice #mornings #notice #awake #alive #noticing #thoughts #gratitude #creativity #creativetime #dreamstate #yogatherapy #yogatoolsforlife

Preparing for Slumber

Depending on where you are in the world and your environment, you may notice some changes taking place. A change of season. It is quite obvious where I live as the foliage, the trees and the grasses are all preparing for winter. Transitioning to a new phase. Not only the beauty you can see here but the seasons also provide a steady rhythm to life. Continuity.

When menopause struck and I was suddenly experiencing disrupted sleeps, yet another transition. A new season. I couldn’t help but recall another stage of life gone by, the early days of parenthood. Those feelings of being absolutely depleted, exhausted. I can only surmise my dreary eyes gazing upon those loving baby faces helped get me through it.

I distinctly remember every time we got in the car to go somewhere, babies safely tucked into their car seats, I immediately fell asleep. Why was that?

I was exhausted.

I knew our babies were safe. I had some time and space when I no longer had to be vigilant, listening and watching over them.

The subtle swaying motion along with the soft hum of the car as my husband drove provided some cues, a stimulus that helped me drift off to slumber.

What were some of the things you did to help get your babies to sleep? I can recall softly stroking their head, their face, “tickling” as we called it. Soothing, rhythmic music playing in the background. There were at times suggestions made to put them on top of the dryer or something similar (maybe for the same hum, swaying that the car provided me). Wrapping them tightly in my arms. Bouncing, swaying, rocking.

We used another strategy when our twins were babies. During the day, we kept them downstairs in the living room, using one of those portable beds so they could get used to sleeping amidst the goings on of our daily life. But at night we took them up to their cribs, to a quiet, darkened room. A different signal that it was now night-time, different than their brief naps during the day.

We can use strategies, we can develop habits and routines to help create conditions for sleep. These are some of the things often discussed in terms of general sleep hygiene. Learning more about our circadian system or rhythm can also be helpful.

What what else might be useful if we’re having trouble with sleep?

Well, there is evidence to show how stress can affect our physiology and our sleep. And, I can imagine many are feeling the effects of stress these days. This hyperarousal, or perhaps it is more like hypo-arousal these days.

How does stress show up in the body? What happens? What are the changes that take place? Can we change or influence our nervous system’s response to stress?

Navigating transitional moments of life is a challenge. Often, there is a letting go required and a stepping into the unknown. Uncertainty. There may be feelings of loss, grief, sadness. Maybe there is anger or resentment or … well there are likely to be many feelings. Including love, beauty and joy. Maybe freedom. All showing up, moving, shifting like a roller coaster ride. Felt and experienced in the body.

Perhaps exploring this a little, what we notice, the sensations that rise and fall throughout the day (and night) might be useful. Making sense of it. Accepting these moments with some kindness and compassion, moving through them with awareness, finding some ground when we need it most. A way to settle into slumber when night falls.

Curious?

I’m planning to offer an online program where we can explore this both through some gentle movement practices, journaling or other written work, information, breath and awareness practices. If this is of interest to you please let me know, send me a message, comment below, sign up to the site or email me at info@yogatoolsforlife.com. There’s no commitment from you required, I’m only gauging if there is interest at this point.

Take care.

 

I have chronic pain & you want me to do Yoga? Yes, the two can go together. Learn how.

What if you could learn how to move safely?
To live your life again, with more ease.

What if you could learn how to tune into your body’s signals in a way that can best guide you?

Pain is definitely complex and there can be a whole range of contributors to your individual experience of pain. It’s usually not just one thing which is why looking for the ‘thing’ to fix the pain doesn’t usually work. Particularly over the long term.

What if you had a safe place to practice what yoga offers?

  • gentle movement practice
  • breath practices
  • meditation or mindfulness practices
  • awareness practices

What if you had a community of others to be with who face similar concerns, uncertainty and questions, while you explore this?

What if you could learn that you are capable of changing or modulating your pain.

What if you could learn a little more to understand pain, what might be contributors, and what might best help to change your experience of pain?

What if you could learn how to work with your breath to help modulate your pain?

What if you could learn to notice stress and muscle tension which may contribute to your pain?  Often, these lay just under your current level of awareness.

What if you could learn ways that might help you to sleep, as we do know sleep is often a factor in the experience of pain.

What if you could learn more about your nervous system and your brain and how adaptable these are? What part they play and how this means your pain is adaptable as well.

If any of this is of interest, resonates with you or you’re curious to find out more there is still time to register for the next series of Pain Care Yoga Classes. You can find more information here, or feel free to send a question here or by emailing me at info@yogatoolsforlife.com

** Tuesdays and Thursday mornings in Stittsville, starting November 5th.