Maybe there’s time to rest.

I just finished offering a two-night workshop series this week with a CHEO (Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario) program that provides peer support to parents of children with complex medical needs.

The topic – sleep.

How did the facilitator, one of the Moms, introduce the topic on the first night?

“Beautiful, delicious, sweet, wonderful, elusive, lovely, sometimes a jerk – sleep.”

Anyone who is a parent will know the trials and tribulations encountered when your child is sick. Yet, imagine how you might find sleep when your child depends on feeding tubes or respirators as they can’t breathe on their own at night.

I didn’t have the opportunity to learn as much as I might like about them. That they showed up for an hour on two separate late evenings to do so inspires me. Suggests there is a need.

It is always challenging in planning and preparation to balance experiential practices with information. Experience is helpful for people but my role as I see it, is to also teach people mechanisms as to why these practices might help.

To provide tools that might be able to influence the elusiveness of sleep, when life is often so full of uncertainty. To gain a sense of agency over their own personal experience.

Perhaps,

  • How they might give themselves permission to… rest. Seems so simple yet in our culture, not so much.
  • How they might take two minutes in the day, to notice what and how they feel and respond in some way with some helpful practices. With compassion.

As I’ve learned from mentors such as Shelly Prosko, Physiotherapist and Yoga Therapist (via research by Kristen Neff on self-compassion) a simple mantra or affirmation of kindness to oneself,

“It’s okay”, as you breathe in.

As you breathe out “This is enough.”

Can this be enough, just as it is?

I can at times feel anxious before doing this work. Is it enough? This week seemed more so, with all that’s going on and feeling not quite myself, rather fatigued.

In the end, I hope the sessions served to support them in some way.

As feedback from the facilitator, “The fact that these moms actually took an hour out of their time to join us is so wonderful. They do not take that time for themselves often enough. A lot of times they do not even have an hour to do anything other than care for their children. So, thank you for giving them that chance to restore and relax.”

I am most grateful for the opportunity. So much credit to these parents and really to anyone, all of us, caring for one another.

Might there also be time to care for ourselves, as well.

Permission to rest…

Bright Lights, Dim Prospects & Daunting News

One of the basics of sleep hygiene is to sleep in a darkened room. Kind of a no-brainer.

However, what is a common reason people wake up in the night? If you’re like me, it’s often to go to the bathroom. Where are the brightest lights in your whole house? Likely the bathroom. Imagine the signal these bright lights are sending to your sleep systems?

Maybe you wake up for some other reason and next thing you know, you’re scrolling on your phone. Many are aware there’s a way to switch it from Light to Dark mode so perhaps the light won’t interfere with you getting back to sleep – too much.

Yet, what is the content you’re reading? Is it news? Social media? Is it something that might alert or arouse your nervous system or thoughts… late at night? Both, seem to have a way to wind things up for many.

These are a few of the things we will be exploring in Rest & Restore: Strategies for Sleep that begins Feb 16th. Each Tuesday night we’ll dig into some of the research around sleep. Then, explore some practices to help calm your sleep systems or change some unsupportive sleep patterns. Add in some quiet time and finally an opportunity to ask questions, connect with others should that be of interest you.

Though the sessions will be on Zoom, if you’re not a Zoom user or are experiencing Zoom fatigue, everything will be available for you to view on your own schedule, at your own convenience on the Teach:able platform.

The chicken or the egg?

This question about what comes first. The onset of chronic pain (and/or other conditions) from sleep disturbance or the relevance of sleep disturbance due to chronic pain?

Here’s some of what we know about sleep …

Sleep complaints are present in 67-88% of chronic pain disorders and at least 50% of individuals with insomnia – the most commonly diagnosed disorder of sleep impairment – suffer from chronic pain. Further, both chronic pain and sleep disturbances share an array of physical and mental health comorbidities, such as obesity, type 2 diabetes and depression.” 1

One study found that “women who endorse frequent, “sleep problems,” defined as frequently difficult falling asleep or having a sleep disorder, were significantly more likely to develop fibromyalgia 10 years later.” 2

Also, in another how “sleep disturbance temporally preceded increases in pain, … in “temporomandibular disorder (TMD).” 3

Similar research is being conducted in terms of cancer pain, for depression, PTSD and ageing (including Alzheimer’s and dementia).

I knew poor sleep to be a contributing factor for people who live with chronic pain. What I didn’t know was how it affects not only physical health but mental health.

What’s piqued my interest is in new studies where a trend has emerged suggesting that sleep disturbance may be a stronger predictor for pain than pain of sleep disturbance.” 4

…several longitudinal studies convincingly demonstrate that insomnia symptoms significantly increase the risk of developing future chronic pain disorders in previously pain-free individuals, whereas existing pain is not a strong predictor of new incident cases of insomnia.” 5

Not just a stronger predictor for pain, but also in terms of mental health conditions.

This bidirectionality or said another way, “what came first, the chicken or the egg?”

Lots of studies to examine obviously, but here’s one on the positive side “Quality sleep has also been shown to predict chronic widespread pain symptom resolution over 15 months.” 6

Researchers will continue to find out more and doctors will refer out to specialists in many areas. Pretty much the gold standard for treating insomnia now is CBTi or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia.

Yet, there are things you can learn to do for yourself, that will help.

Curious about this? Exploring some practices, tools and gaining resources that can support you in getting a better night’s sleep. What stress and the nervous system have to do with sleep? Or how you might find rest during the day?

I’m offering a 4-week workshop starting Feb. 16th at 7:30pm ET.

You’ll have some time and space to explore, experience what might be helpful for you all in the comfort of your own home. Online. Change into some comfy clothes, grab a warm cup of herbal tea and join in. Anyone can follow along. We’ll be rolling on the floor a little, expending energy maybe by rocking and swaying, taking some breaths together. And learning “all the things your parents/doctors/friends/colleagues never told you… about sleep.” There’s a lot more to it than just laying your head down on a pillow, each night.

References:

  1. Finan PH, Goodin BR, Smith MT. The association of sleep and pain: an update and a path forward. J Pain. 2013;14(12):1539-1552. doi:10.1016/j.jpain.2013.08.007
  2. Mork PJ, Nilsen TI. Sleep problems and risk of fibromyalgia: longitudinal data on an adult female population in Norway. Arthritis Rheum. 2012 Jan;64(1):281-4. doi: 10.1002/art.33346. PMID: 22081440.
  3. Quartana PJ, Wickwire EM, Klick B, Grace E, Smith MT. Naturalistic changes in insomnia symptoms and pain in temporomandibular joint disorder: a cross-lagged panel analysis. Pain. 2010 May;149(2):325-331. doi: 10.1016/j.pain.2010.02.029. Epub 2010 Mar 31. PMID: 20359824.
  4. Finan PH, Goodin BR, Smith MT. The association of sleep and pain: an update and a path forward. J Pain. 2013;14(12):1539-1552. doi:10.1016/j.jpain.2013.08.007
  5. Finan PH, Goodin BR, Smith MT. The association of sleep and pain: an update and a path forward. J Pain. 2013;14(12):1539-1552. doi:10.1016/j.jpain.2013.08.007
  6. K. A. Davies, G. J. Macfarlane, B. I. Nicholl, C. Dickens, R. Morriss, D. Ray, J. McBeth Restorative sleep predicts the resolution of chronic widespread pain: results from the EPIFUND study. Rheumatology (Oxford) 2008 Dec; 47(12): 1809–1813. doi: 10.1093/rheumatology/ken389

You’re not sleeping either?

woman in red long sleeve shirt sitting on chair while leaning on laptop
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Did you know “chronic insomnia is highly prevalent and affects approximately 30% of the general population?” 1

Or, that “approximately 40% of adults with insomnia also have a diagnosable psychiatric disorder – most notably depression?” 2

That “sleep complaints are present in 67-88% of chronic pain disorders?” 3

I was aware of the third statistic, that sleep can be a contributing factor for people living with chronic pain. But why my interest in sleep, generally? I had (mostly) been a good sleeper yet started to experience disruptions to my sleep patterns over the past few years. Along came menopause and similar to many others I found myself in a cycle of wakefulness around 2, 3, 4 in the morning and went looking for solutions.

Last fall, however, something else happened. On a Facebook page I belong to, the subject of sleep was brought up. Well, the lack thereof.

I was curious if it was only menopausal women who were struggling with sleep, so I created a random poll. Within an hour or so, there were hundreds of responses.

  • 404 responses
  • 74 comments about issues with sleep.
  • 224 neither menopausal or perimenopausal
  • 95 perimenopausal
  • 51 menopausal
  • 34 ‘other reasons’

Clearly a problem for many but I was surprised to learn that it wasn’t only my age group challenged by this issue. The poll wasn’t scientific and could just reflect the ages of people in the Facebook group. Yet, wow!

Of course people will at times need specific diagnosis, treatment and care from healthcare professionals. Yet, digging into some of the research and after some of the behavioral or environmental factors are addressed with general sleep hygiene information, a lot of what affects sleep has to do with stress and the nervous system (and other systems… circadian, homeostasis, etc.). Which you can learn to influence and modulate.

Would you be interested in exploring this thing called sleep? Safely, gently, with compassion and care you’ll get to experience and learn what might be helpful for you. In your own home, cozy in your pajamas … having some time and space to do so.

A 4-week workshop Rest & Restore: Strategies for Sleep starts Feb 16th!

What are the many factors or contributors that affect sleep? What does the research tell us? What can you do during the day, that will affect your sleep at night? What can you do when waking up from sleep? How might you find some rest in the day, if your sleep wasn’t that great?

If you’d like to join in, registration is now open.

I’ve tried to make it affordable at just $20 each week. If finances are really tight, reach out to me at info@yogatoolsforlife.com. If finances are plentiful, please reach out as well and look to sponsor someone else.

I’d love for you to join in. Experience and learn what might can be helpful, for you.

References:

1. Roth T. Insomnia: definition, prevalence, etiology, and consequences. J Clin Sleep Med. 2007;3(5 Suppl):S7-S10.

2. Roth T. Insomnia: definition, prevalence, etiology, and consequences. J Clin Sleep Med. 2007;3(5 Suppl):S7-S10.

3. Finan PH, Goodin BR, Smith MT. The association of sleep and pain: an update and a path forward. J Pain. 2013;14(12):1539-1552. doi:10.1016/j.jpain.2013.08.007

Just, Calm Down

It was probably my first year as a yoga teacher, 10 years ago now, when I had a student in my class I so clearly recall would get up and leave as soon as it was time for Savasana. I’ve been trying to remember what I offered her in terms of advice but it escapes me now. Likely, I didn’t have much to offer. Yet I did empathize and understand why she left, unable to stay in this ‘corpse pose’ as it’s often called.

Ask the same of people when they are told to “just” sit still and meditate. Particularly if they’re experiencing anxiety, or high levels of stress and notice what happens.

Or telling a young child having a full-blown meltdown to “just” calm down.

The last thing anyone can do in these moments is calm down. There are likely to be many reasons for the state in which people find themselves and can’t calm themselves, but the ‘state’ is the important piece.

If someone is in a state of arousal, a natural nervous system response, telling them to do the opposite may not be helpful. It might add to the stress or leave them feeling ashamed about not being able to control their emotions or behavior. All this movement, powerful breathwork (sobbing), yelling, screaming, stomping of feet, tossing and turning the body in an attempt to express feelings and emotions going on inside (insert here: toddler meltdown).

There are some ways, practices or movements that enable calming down or a relaxation response. But it might be something just the opposite that’s needed to even begin this shift. Maybe what was needed, in this particular situation, is a mobilized response. We need both… to survive and engage in the wide variety of experience life is going to throw our way.

Recognizing the state is the first piece. Having some tools and options to choose from that might be helpful to you in the moment, could be a good thing to practice.

Today, I would have a few suggestions should this person turn up in my yoga class and find it a struggle being in corpse pose.

I’m kicking off a workshop in February all about SLEEP. Deep rest. How one might get to a place of settling in… for the night. Or for Savasana. Or if you’re having a hard time with routine, uncertainty, stress in these days you might find it helpful as well. I’d love for you to join in so stay tuned here, or you can sign up at yogatoolsforlife.com.

Re-store. Re-set. Re-new.

I remember the first restorative yoga I attended. Taught by the lovely Olivia Kulla, back in my Doha days. I thought I would feel all so sleepy, y’know? After the supportive poses, soft music, candle light. Basically having so much support, someone to “tuck me in” so to say. Allow me to fully rest.

What I didn’t realize is that afterwards I didn’t feel sleepy at all. During, yes. But after I felt energized. Rested. Ready to move forward with whatever I needed to do. It was a fascinating experience.

It was a good lesson in doing less. How less might be more.

Valuable.

Though I no longer practice strength or power styles of yoga like Ashtanga or even a flow-style of yoga I do like to get my sweat on. Take me on a good hike. Some downhill skiing and I’ll be right with you. I’m not against high-powered, cardio building stuff.

Yet, there is something about resting.

Not sleeping. Not watching TV. Not scrolling on the phone. But shutting out what can be overwhelming sensory information that bombards us from every angle these days.

Why not slip into some rest, mid-day? All the suggestions below take only minutes. Like 5 minutes or less. (Though of course if you have more time, you could do them for longer.)

  • A little legs ups the wall, pose.
  • Supported child’s pose (it even sounds sweet and supportive). This, is restorative yoga.
  • A 5 minute meditation. Maybe using an App like Calm or Insight Timer.
  • Stand up and sway from side to side, gazing out the window. Maybe you bounce a little, shake out the arms, legs, fingers, feet.
  • Close your eyes. Massage around your eyes, temples. Maybe into your neck and jaw. The back of your neck.
  • Nadi shodhana or equal nostril breathing. I’ve had clients say how energized they feel after this. However, it might also be used to help fall asleep, so notice how it shifts your energy.
  • My favorite is laying down on the floor. Perhaps a blanket folded, to support the head. Maybe a pillow under my knees which often feels good for the low back. And just rest. I always suggest laying on the floor, rather than a bed, or sofa. If you can notice it, find the support of your body’s structure (bones) on a hard surface. This might allow for the muscles to release any ‘holding’ or tension… and to relax.

Why not do one of these for 5 minutes a day, either before or after lunch (one might feel better for you) and notice what you notice. What feels right and do-able for you?

Restorative yoga. It seems these days it’s often combined with yin, or slow or gentle yoga, or perhaps confused with these. Yet in the trainings I’ve done in the style it’s not about stretching. It’s not about holding. Rather, all about support.

As you can see from the suggestions, it doesn’t have to be restorative yoga but perhaps making some time and space to do something else, take a break, might be useful. What does providing some mid-day support or rest feel like, to you? Let me know how it goes.

Preparing for Slumber

Depending on where you are in the world and your environment, you may notice some changes taking place. A change of season. It is quite obvious where I live as the foliage, the trees and the grasses are all preparing for winter. Transitioning to a new phase. Not only the beauty you can see here but the seasons also provide a steady rhythm to life. Continuity.

When menopause struck and I was suddenly experiencing disrupted sleeps, yet another transition. A new season. I couldn’t help but recall another stage of life gone by, the early days of parenthood. Those feelings of being absolutely depleted, exhausted. I can only surmise my dreary eyes gazing upon those loving baby faces helped get me through it.

I distinctly remember every time we got in the car to go somewhere, babies safely tucked into their car seats, I immediately fell asleep. Why was that?

I was exhausted.

I knew our babies were safe. I had some time and space when I no longer had to be vigilant, listening and watching over them.

The subtle swaying motion along with the soft hum of the car as my husband drove provided some cues, a stimulus that helped me drift off to slumber.

What were some of the things you did to help get your babies to sleep? I can recall softly stroking their head, their face, “tickling” as we called it. Soothing, rhythmic music playing in the background. There were at times suggestions made to put them on top of the dryer or something similar (maybe for the same hum, swaying that the car provided me). Wrapping them tightly in my arms. Bouncing, swaying, rocking.

We used another strategy when our twins were babies. During the day, we kept them downstairs in the living room, using one of those portable beds so they could get used to sleeping amidst the goings on of our daily life. But at night we took them up to their cribs, to a quiet, darkened room. A different signal that it was now night-time, different than their brief naps during the day.

We can use strategies, we can develop habits and routines to help create conditions for sleep. These are some of the things often discussed in terms of general sleep hygiene. Learning more about our circadian system or rhythm can also be helpful.

What what else might be useful if we’re having trouble with sleep?

Well, there is evidence to show how stress can affect our physiology and our sleep. And, I can imagine many are feeling the effects of stress these days. This hyperarousal, or perhaps it is more like hypo-arousal these days.

How does stress show up in the body? What happens? What are the changes that take place? Can we change or influence our nervous system’s response to stress?

Navigating transitional moments of life is a challenge. Often, there is a letting go required and a stepping into the unknown. Uncertainty. There may be feelings of loss, grief, sadness. Maybe there is anger or resentment or … well there are likely to be many feelings. Including love, beauty and joy. Maybe freedom. All showing up, moving, shifting like a roller coaster ride. Felt and experienced in the body.

Perhaps exploring this a little, what we notice, the sensations that rise and fall throughout the day (and night) might be useful. Making sense of it. Accepting these moments with some kindness and compassion, moving through them with awareness, finding some ground when we need it most. A way to settle into slumber when night falls.

Curious?

I’m planning to offer an online program where we can explore this both through some gentle movement practices, journaling or other written work, information, breath and awareness practices. If this is of interest to you please let me know, send me a message, comment below, sign up to the site or email me at info@yogatoolsforlife.com. There’s no commitment from you required, I’m only gauging if there is interest at this point.

Take care.

 

“Are we there yet?”

squishedSummer has officially begun and soon many will be on their long-anticipated holidays. Most likely, it will involve some travel. And at some point the dreaded ‘are we there yet?’ You might think it to yourself or maybe your little travel companions repeat the phrase. On the hour. Time seems to drag. on. forever.

Why is it we dread the getting to, and coming back from, our trips?

Sure there can be unexpected delays or surprises that inevitably happen. But typically it’s the thought of sitting in our vehicle driving for 4, 8, or 12 hours to our destination. Or being crammed into the airplane for hours on end. Uncomfortable, to be sure. Not only being seated for so long but also waiting to eat on someone else’s schedule or getting to the bathroom when the need arises.

Most of us sit, for hours, all day long. Why then, does it feel different or more noticeable when we’re traveling? In an airplane, it’s not so easy to move around, to shift in our seats, when discomfort arises. In our cars, perhaps it’s a little easier with more room and not so many eyes watching us.

On most any day, we tend to listen to the hunger and thirst signals our body sends us, while other ‘discomforts’ such as simply moving, tend to be ignored. Why do we respond to some and not to others?

Which discomforts do we choose to tolerate? 

Little kids fidget, move, express themselves all the time. Until they’re told not to.

How might it feel …

to move and shift, and stretch and dance as you like, when you like? As you feel the need or desire to do so? At any time. Any place. Before, the discomfort pretty much commands that you do so?

When you are uncomfortable, how do you respond? Do you respond?

Hmmmmmm……

 

Yoga Tools – Awareness

imagesThe bumper sticker on our last Yoga Tool was to recognize that just as we take a drink when we are thirsty, eat when we are hungry, we need rest when we are weary. All of which requires first, awareness of a particular sensation in our body.

There are signs and signals speaking to us all the time, but are we really listening?

Are you like me in that you eat regularly on a schedule or do you listen to the signal telling you when you’re hungry? Do you sleep only at certain times of the day or are you paying attention to the signs that you need to rest? These are two indicators built into the survival mechanism of our body. Similarly, if you enter a room with a smell so strong it seems toxic you know to immediately step out again. If you are suddenly ill bringing up something you ate, again a signal. Your brain’s number one job is to keep you safe and protected.

Pain is no different. It is a signal from your brain, a call to action.

Below is a quick and easy Tool to begin learning to sense information your body or your brain, is providing. I often use it in the beginning of a yoga class, to bring some awareness to what we’re about to do.

one-to-fiveLie with your back on the floor. Bend your knees and place your feet hips-width apart. Let your knees gently fall towards each other, resting easy and comfortable.

Now, begin:

To sense what you feel in terms of your body’s contact with the floor. What parts of your body are in contact with the floor? Is the surface of the floor hard, soft? Are you comfortable? Do you feel the support of the ground below? Lean in. Feel grounded. Feel supported.

To feel your breath moving through your body. Where do you first notice your breath? In your chest, your lungs? Your nostrils? In your belly perhaps? Does the air feel smooth flowing in, and out? Does it feel forced, soft, cool, warm? Can you sense movement, in tune with your breath, elsewhere in your body?

To notice the tone of your muscles. Are your muscles at rest, tense, or sore? Where in particular do you notice any tension? Where might you find softness? Can you soften the areas around your eyes? Let your jaw, feel relaxed. Your tongue loose and soft in your mouth. Can you contract a muscle somewhere and then for contrast, let it go?

To pay attention to your heartbeat. Can you sense it? Can you feel it? Where do you feel it?

Going even deeper, can you feel or sense the blood flowing through your body? 

If you can’t feel a particular sensation, just notice that. Without judgement. Just let it be.

Body / Breath / Musculature / Heartbeat / Bloodflow

5 steps inside…

Take some time each day to first, pay attention. Build awareness.

Practice this once per day over the next week.

*Note: If you’re typically a doer, go-getter, Type-A, cannot sit still type of person, consider doing this AFTER a workout, brisk walk, end of your day, when you’re more likely to be at ease with the sense of quiet and stillness this exercise asks of you.

Yoga Tools – Rest Easy

Life is not easy. For any of us.  There is more than enough to do, day in and day out. Stressors at work, at home or elsewhere.

So cut yourself some slack. Give yourself permission to rest. 

restStart with just 5 minutes.  Do this at least once a day. Do it twice if you like. But do it consistently.

You might want to set a particular time for this. Perhaps at mid-day, or early evening. It’s not often you need to rest first thing in the day and this 5 minutes isn’t meant for sleeping, so not too close to bedtime either.

  1. Either lie down or sit in a comfortable position (*see below for IMG_9231.JPGspecifics). It’s preferable to lay on the floor but if you’re unable to do so, a bed or sofa is fine.
  2. Set a timer for 5 minutes.
  3. Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
  4. Begin to breathe in and out through your nose (close your mouth).
  5. Be here for 5 minutes, just breathing naturally. Don’t try to change anything about your breath.
    • Notice where you feel your breath. It might be most noticeable in your nostrils, maybe in your chest or perhaps your abdomen.
    • Notice how your breath is moving. If there’s any particular quality to it such as smooth, interrupted, easy, strained.
    • Then just breathe. And just notice.
    • If your mind wanders, as it’s likely to do, just bring your attention back to your breath. Feel where it’s moving through your body, where you notice it. Try not to judge the wandering of your mind as anything either good or bad.
    • And just breathe. And just notice.
  6. When the timer goes off, slowly open your eyes. Roll over and stand up.

Notice what you feel. Mentally or physically make a note of what you experienced or noticed.

Keep practising for a week.

Check in with me next Tuesday and we’ll expand on this practise.

If… you can’t find 5 minutes in your day? You might want to look at that.

If you have any questions or comments, post them below.

* Positioning if seated

  • Sit forward on a chair so your back is not touching the back upright portion of the chair.
  • See if you can feel your ‘sitting’ bones (ischial tuberosities) and let your weight be supported there.
  • Have your feet planted on the floor, hip-width apart.
  • Hands comfortably on your lap.

* Positioning if lying down

  • Lie on the ground, perhaps on a carpet or mat if available. If you have back pain, you may want to use a rolled up towel, yoga mat, etc. to slip under your bent knees for support.
  • Hands can be by your side or placed on your belly.
  • Notice the parts of your body supported by the hard surface of the floor (heels, hips, shoulder area, head).